Pride

I've been thinking a lot about pride recently. The national news coverage of students opening A Level and GCSE results and the images shown of jubilant teachers and parents celebrating successes really got me asking myself what it meant to feel pride.

The word itself means to feel pleasure or satisfaction from one's own achievements, or those of others to whom one is closely associated with. Or to feel the same regarding qualities or possessions which others admire.

As a psychologist this makes me think about the signalling function of emotions, anxiety signals a threat and anger signals a rule being violated. And pride? Pride feels like the opposite to anxiety or anger, it has a soothing, centring, relieving quality to it. All is ok, I or my child have done well, there is nothing to worry about.

The news coverage I watched was heavily dominated by stories of students achieving multiple grade As/9s, or of schools where students had achieved the most grade As/9s in their area. There was an overriding sense that this was something to feel proud of it, and it certainly is an extraordinary achievement. But what of the students who did not attain grade As/9s, should they and their parents feel proud?

The thing is, that we actually live in a capitalist society. In order to survive in this society one essentially has to have the means to earn money. Qualifications are one of (but certainly not the only) route into that. So feeling pride makes sense in that context. But here's the other thing, in order to thrive in today's society one also needs attributes other than qualifications, kindness, compassion, love, an openness to experience and a willingness to learn amongst others. Applied both to oneself and to the communities around us. If we can find a way to foster these qualities in ourselves and those we are closely associated with, then pride will surely follow.

Does it mean that if your son or daughter achieved a grade A/9 in one or more of their A Levels or GCSEs that you shouldn't feel proud? Absolutely not. I think what it means is that we will serve ourselves and our wider society well if we find a way to value qualities as well as abilities, because they are most definitely not the same thing.

Sending kind thoughts, love and compassion to all.